Sampai Kapan?

 

Pertanyaan “Sampai Kapan?”, sebaiknya dijawab, “Sampai kamu merasakan keikhlasan dan kebersyukuran”. Bukankah kau menginginkan kedamaian hah? Apa yang kau rasakan jika hari hari yang kau jalani itu tidak ikhlas? Bahwa akan ada suatu kejanggalan hati yg akan menekan kau untuk mengeluarkan emosi dan di saat itulah kau kalah dengan egomu.
Waktu tidak akan pernah berjalan mundur tapi waktu akan menawarkan masa depan yang cerah dan gemilang ketika engkau tak memedulikin seberapa jarak waktu untuk mendapatkan apa yang kau inginkan atau kebahagiaan.
Berbicara masalah waktu, sudahkah kau bersyukur atas hari2 yang kau jalani semasa hidup? Sudahkah engkau menunduk ke bawah di saat engkau berada di masa2 indah? Ataukah engkah selalu memaki apapun ketika kesengsaraan kegalauan datang pada kau?
Dirimu adalah jawaban atas waktumu. Dirimu jugalah yang dapat mengatur apa yang akan kamu lakukan di masa yang akan datang.
Masa lalu itu hanya sebagai cerminan ketika engkau menengok ke belakang maka lihatlah dengan seksama seluruh kejadian lalu ambillah sisi positif dari kejadian tersebut seperti engkau mencari sekumpulan buah pear yang masih mulus bersih dan keras untuk dimakan lalu kau tinggalkan begitu saja sekumpulan buah pear yang kusam jelek dan busuk. “Sampai kapan?”, sampai engkau paham bahwa hidup ini tidak ada yang sia sia. Pahamilah, selamilah bahwa apa yang kita lakukan, kerjakan bahwa akan ada suatu hikmah dan nilai yang akan berguna bagi dirimu dan orang lain.

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Mengapa?

Menatap jam dinding berharap detik demi detik menunggu seseorang kan datang duduk tepat di depan matanya. Entah kenapa malam ini angin terasa kencang meniup dan menyentuh relung jiwa yang sedang perih ini. Ya memang kosong isinya, tapi pedih pedih seperti luka sayatan pisau. Miris jika tidak segera terobati, akan terus terasa pedih bila dari jiwa ini tidak ingin segera mencari obat penyembuh luka sayatan.
Inginku banyak, aku ingin ini aku ingin itu, tapi tak satupun keinginanku terpenuhi. Kenapa? Kenapa tidak terpenuhi? Jawabannya sederhana “kamu belum bersyukur”. Ya memang manusia memiliki nafsu yang terkadang tidak terkendali, tapi satu hal yang harus diingat adalah ketika manusia memiliki keinginan dan selalu diikuti dengan kebersyukuran maka niscaya laksana mendaki puncak yang hanya tinggal dua langkah selangkah lagi akan bisa menginjak menyentuh dan mencapai titik puncak tersebut.
Kepada sang Muqtadir Yang Maha Berkuasa, aku ingin bicara, ingin sekali bicara padaMu dikala malam terjaga dan saat itu hanya deru angin dan suara burung-burung liar yang menyaksikan pembicaraan kita dimana para manusia sudah terlelap dan terjaga dalam mimpi indahnya. “Tuhan Yang Maha Menyesatkan, mengapa Engkau memberi kami sebuah teka-teki yang aku sendiri pun tak sanggup untuk memecahkannya? Tuhan Ya Dzul Jalaali Wal Ikroom Yang Maha Memiliki Kebesaran serta Kemuliaan, mengapa Engkau terlalu baik kepada manusia yang bertobat dimana yang dulunya memiliki beribu ribu bahkan jutaan dosa yang padahal dosa dosa tersebut sangat menjijikan?”
Mengapa? Mengapa dan Mengapa? Tak habis pertaanyaan mengapaku padaMu.
Di kala itu ketika tetesan air mata jatuh di atas sajadah suci, aku terlelap dan bermimpi. Mimpi yang aneh, yang kulihat hanyalah bayangan putih yang lama-lama berubah menjadi gelap lalu secara perlahan kembali putih. Pertanda apa itu? Apakah itu adalah semua jawaban rungkasan atas semua pertanyaanku.
Perlahan aku mulai memahami apa makna dari mimpi tersebut. Jawabannya sederhana, “engkau tidak mengeluh, maka kusiramkan benih kebersyukuran padamu dan bila jika engkau mengeluh maka nafsu akan serta merta menyelimuti jiwamu”.

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What does my title A.Md mean to be (?)

What I suppose to be now is what was I doing yesterday! Thank you for supporting..

Dan ketika itu aku berjalan ke ruang transit dan melihat di sekeliling keramaian, sedang bercengkrama, membetulkan topi toga, kasmir bertuliskan cumlaude. Ah~ apalah artinya kalo hari ini tanpa dihadiri oleh keluarga inti!

Aku gak membenci mereka kok. kesal? sama sekali tidak. Marah? apalagi.. Aku tahu alasan apa yang menyebabkan mereka ga bisa hadir. Untungnya aku masih punya bude dan pakde yang menemaniku dari awal prosesi sampai selesai..

Deg degan??! IYA, pastinya deg degan! Begitu namaku dipanggil,, detak ga karuan! Saatnya menjabat tangan Rektor Universitas Islam Indonesia.. waaa!! That was the first time! kulangkahkan kaki ke podium dengan gagahnya menggunakan hak 7 cm sambil mendengarkan namaku dipanggil serta dengan jumlah indeks prestasi, kuangkat tangan untuk menerima ijasah D3 Bahasa Inggris, kutundukkan kepala ini demi memintahkan kuncir dari kiri ke kanan, lalu kupegang dan kujabat tangan pak Rektor seraya mengucapkan “terima kasih pak”, kulangkahkan kakiku ke sebelah menuju WR 1 untuk mendapatkan tanda ajasah lainnya, kutiremi map itu lalu kujabat seraya juga mengucapkan “terima kasih”. kuputar badanku menuju kursi dimana aku duduk..

Perjuangan yg kulakukan selam 3 tahun kemarin adalah perjuangan dimana passion aku disini, hidup aku disini, masa eksplorasi aku pun juga disini, aku bisa ke Australia juga karna perjuanganku kuliah di Bahasa Inggris. Dan gelar A.Md ini kini telah kudapatkan guna menjembatani langkahku untuk berkarir. Bahasa Inggris itu penting! ya Penting, baru aku sadari, aku beruntung bisa mengenal bahasa ini,, dan gelar ini akan selalu aku jaga kehormatannya, kewajibanku belum berakhir sampai di sini, ya aku harus banyak belajar lagi, terus semangat bereksplorasi, mencari kedekatan, mencari ilmu, bahkan mencari hal yang unik! Aku harap arti dari gelar ini dapat menyemngati hari-hariku untuk menyelesaikan S1 Psikologi serta melanjutkan S1 Bahasa Inggris.

AKU BANGGA PADA DIRIKU SENDIRI! AKU BANGGA APA YANG AKU LAKUKAN! DAN KEBANGGAANKU INI AKAN AKU BAWA TERUS UNTUK MENCAPAI PUNCAK! BAHAGIAKU, HIDUPKU AKU YANG MERANCANG, TAPI AKU SADAR BAHWA SEMUANYA ALLAH YANG MENGEKSEKUSI!

SELAMAT BERJUANG, SELAMAT MENUJU PUNCAK, KARENA SEBENARNYA PUNCAK SUDAH DEKAT!!!

 

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22 hopes after 22nd

Well, very weird hope that I will write but, I hope from my 22 lists I will be more independent and be a star of my self. Here there are

1. Watch

2. O’clock

Point number 1 and 2 are how I do not procrastinate anymore

3. Very very close to God(my lucky number, so I put my special hope in number 3)

4.Lunarclaire Pattiserie

5. Book lists to do for life before marriage

6. Book lists to do for whole life before die

7. Best friend for life(my second lucky number, so I put my second special hope in number 7)

8. NEW SPIRIT

9. English-er

10. Public Speaker

11. Backpack

12. Pattiserie book

13. Food photographer

14. Research in “self-leadership”

15. Ethnic/unique/colorful bracelet (I really love bracelet by the way)

16. a bucket of 22 pastel roses

17. Cooking books

18. 4 tickets to Umroh

19. 2 tickets to UEA

20.  ()

21.   ()

at last but not least

22. lost my weight until 55 kg

And I do not know my hope in point 20 and 21. Maybe you guys want to give me a special gift on my birthday. hehehehe 😀

Am I late (?)

I am not late to say I love you, and truthfully I save it in my deeply heart till the time is right. But then it’s gone!

while seeing you in long distance, I feel that my heart beats and every step that I close to you and really close I don’t want to be a silly or dumb, yeah my gesture shows that I need to see you for long time, I need to stare your eyes every hour or even every day. I wonder that you are really my apple on my eyes.

First seeing you, I don’t know why I was so interested to you. It was like  two magnet with different pole and suddenly came “law of attraction” worked. I thought that you have feel like mine. But I don’t know what your feeling at that time!

You were really kind, wisdom, and even you blow my heart with your poem till’ it cold. Remember the story while I was late:

The clock showed that it is more than 9:30 am, and I was still running and running to catch my college. Okay, I was late but not very late. I was the one of person who did not want to sit at the back side, so I decided to sit front. But there was 1 chair in front and if I sat there I will sit between 2 guys and this is Islamic University of Indonesia. Alright , my ego was win, so I sit between of 2 guys. this was how the story start 🙂

“Excuse me, may sit here please??” I asked

“No!” He answered

“Whatt!! But I don’t want to sit at the back!! SO PLEASE! LET ME SIT HERE!!!” I pretended to beg

“Al right, I f you want to sit here!” The last answered

“THANKS! (sigh)” I mumbled

—–The class started—-

It was a social psychology and we studied about love and law of attraction materials. Hmm,, not really exciting. When lecturer explained the materials I just talked to my self, but suddenly the boy who annoyed me before follow my self-talk and give comment.. For short story, we were connected of what we talked about. But suddenly at the end of the class again and again, he annoyed me (sigh)

“Oh ya by the way, I don’t know your name. So what is your name?” I asked

“:) You can see mine on attendance!” He answered

“What!! I don’t have any clue to find your name on attendance!! Arggghh” Bit mumbled

“Your name is ririn right??” He said the left me

How he knew my name!!!

This is the story that I never forget!!

 

The next semester we only have one class that we were classmate. At that time, we were very intense for communicating.  I conclude that “I HAVE FEELING TO HIM, AND I THINK  HE IS MY DESTINY IN MY WHOLE LIFE”

I never knew what was his feeling, just keep in my heart but I always gave him clue that I really need him,,

 

I did not know why suddenly he disappeared that he said that he was not good for me and so don’t trust him anymore!

I CRIED!

Need for long time to forget him, so I decided to stay away with him.. But it was hard for me for forgetting him, I cried and cried, like a little girl who need her mom in her side. Really hard to forget him..

I have to build up my brain and say “not to forget him, but THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR LOVING HIM” I trust

Despite people knew that I have no comment about him but I still keep his name in my heart and always always and always see him from long distance until know, in every chance that I meet him, I always see him and wonder that he also see me. I expect that he still keep the name “Princes Sun” and “Princess Lunar” in his heart. And until now those names never disappeared, they are still on my mind and in my heart.

I don’t wanna be a girl with the obsessive, I just want to wait him and my guts just the limit of seeing him and text an empty message to him when I miss him. Until now I still sent an empty message to him.

Day by day, month by month, and it’s been 2 years I still wait him.

Briefly, now.. I’m late, I’m too late,,

-Finish-

 

 

Having New Tumblr

Finally yay!!

I made a tumblr!

Actually the reason why I made because I want to make a specific blog. Well I think it is good idea to share my creativity on tumblr! It is more specific because I put photos which are about coffee and pastry.

And my own name tumblr self is Coffee-Pastry Traveller~ its like I am like a stalker of Coffee and Pastry World. No matter what, its Ok but I like my job!

My Dashboard

My Dashboard

So if you want to go coffee shop this tumblr inshaAllah will help you to choose the best cafe for you guys hanging out with your beloved friends. Let’s chill out!

And here on my tumblr we’ll talk about SWEETS and COFFEE!

My blog but still messed up

My blog but still messed up

all sweets you can see on my tumblr

http://rituntun.tumblr.com/

see ya 🙂

Now What!

Assalamu’alaykum. Wr. Wb.

Haloo world haloo universe, it’s been a while ya I did not catch you on virtual world. hmm~ miss me?? Of course you all miss me! I did not write anything in the first of this year. Yeap! it might be because I was really busy at that time, and it was like grabbing my time for writing my beloved blog.

First of all, happy new year (although  I was late to say it but it does not matter -lol-), and the second, I have new hobby, you can guess what kind of hobby that I  am running now. Hmm~ I like to look for money!! Yeap money but its not only about money but also the experience of doing it. I feel I have to look for something that it is really really “fit” for me but still don’t what is that.. Oh yeah~ as you know, I wanna share what is my 2013 resolution. Curious???!! Have to!!

Okay what is the resolution of 2013?? It’s simple and very simple! So, what is in my mind for doing the whole 2013 is

THINK . HEART . CREATE . ACTION . INNOVATION

simple right?? But think! They are simple words but they have deeply inside meaning for my life. Everybody should think what will they do for next, for the future or for making better but do not forget with your heart. you must think about your life with heart. the synergic between your mind and your heart will make you are in one harmony. Think! What are you and take a breath in your heart! Ok then,, yeah the idea suddenly appears and finally you can create anything from your thought. Not only giving an idea but also ACTION (the most important part for change your bad habit). People will give your mark is from what are you doing and wearing now! If your life is just an ordinary or common or simple, I think it does not give you best way for getting people’s mind of you of for simply you wear the simplest costume and people will judge you simple. You wanna be like that? Of course NO! So, yeahh,, be different and make different and do different because beautiful girl is many, smart girl is many, and beautiful+smart girl is really many (so I am in????? #jleb). I just want to be a different girl but not to strict or like eccentric. We do or we change in an appropriate place and situation. And finally for the last but not LEAST is self actualization or trying something new and new without leaving who we really are. Actually not only those that I explained before but also the most most most important and strongest that bring us life and dynamic is

PRAYING to GOD

It will be make you better and better. Try to involve Allah SWT whenever wherever you go you do and you decide. It guarantees you the do the best choice and you know your life is really beautiful when you see forward!

 

Bismillah I can!!!

 

See on my facebook!

See what I am doing on FB

See what I am doing on FB

another

or even abroad person, he shared my status

or even abroad person, he shared my status

the last! See you on TOP and change YOURS for the best future!

 

Wassalam 🙂